I recently had a "vision and goals" session at work and I was extremely moved by this exercise. However I will admit, I've never been the type to set goals before. I've always been excited to see what life throws at me, and luckily thus far I feel I've been "successful" at life's pitches. What I've also learned over the years however is that "success" means a lot of different things to different people....
Growing up in the South of the good ole USA, life's progression has a certain path of achievements that must be had in order to be "normal" or "successful." You must go to college, graduate, land a great job, continue that into a great career, get married by mid to late 20's, have kids, get a house with a white picked fence and get a golden retriever, or something of that sort. I was on a roll with most of that, graduating college with honors, landing a great job and having a successful career in banking. However the latter part of the equation has yet to really fall in place for me. The whole marriage and kids thing. At times this has created havoc within me, with all of this ingrained in my DNA I felt as if I was doing something wrong, or not doing something right. As I thought I was somewhat not on the right path, I threw everything I was doing away to RESET, if you will. I resigned from my kush job at the bank, traveled the world and started opening my life and mind to different things, different patterns, and different paces, to see if I could spark change to get back on the "path" to finalize the rest of life's ray I've yet to fulfill.
Today - still no change. I almost feel more confused than ever before. However through this transient time in my life I'm feeling more, seeing more, and getting more in-tune with myself. I've learned a lot. I've learned you can't attach "happiness" or "success" to anything. Not to any time, event, achievement, thing, or person. Yes certain things can bring you happiness, but you shouldn't allow certain things NOT happening to break you of being happy. Happiness and success has to be a state of mind, a state of being. Once you feel at home and happy with yourself regardless of your circumstances, you cannot be shaken! Now I know some circumstances will require change. I'm not saying everyone should quit their job and go live under a bridge so they can finally scream I'M HAPPY! I'm saying we all need to learn to live with and love what we have, our circumstances, and know where you are in life is exactly where you should be. You should also be strong and tenacious to make the desired changes you want in your life, whatever they are! I know that I should no longer attach "happiness" and "success" with being married and having children. That is absurd! That is not the only way to be happy in this life! What was I thinking! I know some of you may think I'm crazy but I also know there are some of you who feel the same as I do, thus the reason I am writing this open and honest piece.
This "vision and goals" exercise had such a positive impact on me I wanted to share it with you. Try this, I promise it will reinvigorate you about life!! Trust yourself and trust the possibilities!
1. Write down everything you DO NOT WANT in life on a piece of paper. It could be feelings, things, people, desires, thoughts...
2. Once you are done, tear the above sheet of paper in pieces and throw it in the trash!!!!
3. Now on another sheet of paper write down everything you DO WANT in your life. Again this could be feelings, thoughts, accomplishments, etc.....
Here are a few other questions that will help you identify what you're really passionate about, what really makes you happy and what you really value in this life. These questions are from Brian Tracy's Psychology of Achievement. These will help you get you in the mindset of the possibility of your life!
1. What would you do if you won a million dollars!?
2. What would you do if you only had six months left to live!?
3. In 30 seconds or less write down the three most important goals in your life right now.
4. What have you always wanted to do but have been afraid to attempt!?
5. In looking back at all the things you've done, what gives you your greatest feeling of importance!?
6. What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail!?
7. What are the eight things you value most in life!?
Once you've answered the above questions read over them carefully. Is what you are doing now in your life aligning you with your above answers? The above questions really help you realize what YOU really WANT, what YOU really LOVE, and what YOU really want out of this life. If the path you are currently on is not aligning you with anything you have mentioned above, there's a good chance you are not following your dreams!
Do not let society tell you what you should be doing with your life. Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. But mindfulness training, perseverance, and courage will lead you to your path of ultimate bliss. It will be tough, but I promise you it will be worth it!
Growing up in the South of the good ole USA, life's progression has a certain path of achievements that must be had in order to be "normal" or "successful." You must go to college, graduate, land a great job, continue that into a great career, get married by mid to late 20's, have kids, get a house with a white picked fence and get a golden retriever, or something of that sort. I was on a roll with most of that, graduating college with honors, landing a great job and having a successful career in banking. However the latter part of the equation has yet to really fall in place for me. The whole marriage and kids thing. At times this has created havoc within me, with all of this ingrained in my DNA I felt as if I was doing something wrong, or not doing something right. As I thought I was somewhat not on the right path, I threw everything I was doing away to RESET, if you will. I resigned from my kush job at the bank, traveled the world and started opening my life and mind to different things, different patterns, and different paces, to see if I could spark change to get back on the "path" to finalize the rest of life's ray I've yet to fulfill.
Today - still no change. I almost feel more confused than ever before. However through this transient time in my life I'm feeling more, seeing more, and getting more in-tune with myself. I've learned a lot. I've learned you can't attach "happiness" or "success" to anything. Not to any time, event, achievement, thing, or person. Yes certain things can bring you happiness, but you shouldn't allow certain things NOT happening to break you of being happy. Happiness and success has to be a state of mind, a state of being. Once you feel at home and happy with yourself regardless of your circumstances, you cannot be shaken! Now I know some circumstances will require change. I'm not saying everyone should quit their job and go live under a bridge so they can finally scream I'M HAPPY! I'm saying we all need to learn to live with and love what we have, our circumstances, and know where you are in life is exactly where you should be. You should also be strong and tenacious to make the desired changes you want in your life, whatever they are! I know that I should no longer attach "happiness" and "success" with being married and having children. That is absurd! That is not the only way to be happy in this life! What was I thinking! I know some of you may think I'm crazy but I also know there are some of you who feel the same as I do, thus the reason I am writing this open and honest piece.
This "vision and goals" exercise had such a positive impact on me I wanted to share it with you. Try this, I promise it will reinvigorate you about life!! Trust yourself and trust the possibilities!
1. Write down everything you DO NOT WANT in life on a piece of paper. It could be feelings, things, people, desires, thoughts...
2. Once you are done, tear the above sheet of paper in pieces and throw it in the trash!!!!
3. Now on another sheet of paper write down everything you DO WANT in your life. Again this could be feelings, thoughts, accomplishments, etc.....
The idea of this is, most of the time we our led by our fears rather than our dreams. Fear kills more ideas than attempts ever will. Allow yourself to be led by the possibilities of life. YOU are allowed to create anything you want in this life! Do not let anyone tell you otherwise! F the system and F the norm!
Here are a few other questions that will help you identify what you're really passionate about, what really makes you happy and what you really value in this life. These questions are from Brian Tracy's Psychology of Achievement. These will help you get you in the mindset of the possibility of your life!
1. What would you do if you won a million dollars!?
2. What would you do if you only had six months left to live!?
3. In 30 seconds or less write down the three most important goals in your life right now.
4. What have you always wanted to do but have been afraid to attempt!?
5. In looking back at all the things you've done, what gives you your greatest feeling of importance!?
6. What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail!?
7. What are the eight things you value most in life!?
Once you've answered the above questions read over them carefully. Is what you are doing now in your life aligning you with your above answers? The above questions really help you realize what YOU really WANT, what YOU really LOVE, and what YOU really want out of this life. If the path you are currently on is not aligning you with anything you have mentioned above, there's a good chance you are not following your dreams!
Do not let society tell you what you should be doing with your life. Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. But mindfulness training, perseverance, and courage will lead you to your path of ultimate bliss. It will be tough, but I promise you it will be worth it!
Elizabeth, I have also found that as soon as you think you figure it all out, the world or something changes -- remix! Many of us go with the flow, some have that talent, awareness and drive to achieve in a certain aspects. Also, the many aspects of our life do not always align at the same time. The beauty of life is that when one aspect lulls or even is painful, another aspect brings you joy and keeps things in balance enough to get through while the challenging area(s) can be worked out. No one has it all and there will always be people worse off than you and better off than you. Focusing and being thankful for the joys will never fail us.
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