I can feel myself growing out of my shell. I'm cracking. Like a bird breaking out of his shell to start his life, I am going through a rebirth. One that has probably been 10 years in the making. A skin I am shedding, but the experiences always there.
It's like going through your old clothes. Do you have shirts or jeans you've had for 10 years? 10 years????? I know I can barely believe it, but I was guilty of that. You finally get tired of the "same old shit." My shell is cracking from interior growth, and now my exterior wants a revamp too. I demand to celebrate myself more fiercely in every way.
Each day I walk on my eggshells in frustration and excitement. "They say it's about the journey." UGH. And the end is death and/or being so old, or retiring. I don't want it to be done. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of. That time is passing too fast. I'm still unsure about so many things, direction, investment, wow how much more time do I have? How has this much time passed?
I must act. I must change gears. A higher gear.
I'm evolving into a real woman. New York has evoked change upon me. If New York teaches you anything, it forces you to know yourself. You really have no other choice. The energy and people around you, it's about survival really. At 34 I think I finally feel like an adult. Kinda. ;) I'm rediscovering who I want to be, and learning how to blast this new inner light to its maximum. Getting to know yourself like you're getting to know a new friend. Perspective is changing, reevaluating your purpose. It's scary and exciting at the same time, and with a rebirth I can only become...better.
Hi eggshells, I see you. :)