Juicy Peaches

I really enjoyed my conversation tonight with one of my best girlfriends.  I've known her for 16 years.  We lived together in college, we would dance together at frat parties and laugh until the weeeee hours of the morning.  Are you asleep we would ask each other laying in our bunk beds.....  Nope.

She just moved to Cincinnati for her husband's promotion.  They have a 1 year old and everything is different and unfamiliar to her in this new town of two months.  Tonight she described how her toddler threw his fork at her because he couldn't puncture his juicy peach sliding around on his plate, and how every home in her new town has history.  She has an 80 year old neighbor that teaches emotional support dance classes where you pour your emotions into modern dance as therapy.  This lady actually has a dance floor in her living room.  I mean, WHAT!  Why are you not there right now!  That may be one of the most amazing things I've ever heard.

We also chatted about my new life in NYC.  My job, my travels, and my dating life which is nothing short of entertaining.  I should write a book she said....  I've heard that before.  But what is the purpose of pouring out your most sensitive, hilarious, frightening, crazy, and emotional experiences onto paper?  It would be a great story they have said....  Is that what they write movies about?

Tonight was a special moment for me.  I was finally able to look at myself and see myself in solidarity.  A reflection from my friend.  One who I love and trust.  A welcoming perspective, clear and beautiful.  Her life beautiful.  My life beautiful.  A moment of seeing time, this intangible in a moment.  Tonight not only did I feel it, I saw it.  A picture of 16 years, vividly clear in one place.  Our growth, collectively and individually.  Of life, how it works, how it happens, and how it unfolds.

Collect moments, not things, they say....

Tonight was special.  Little Jose and his juicy peach.  ;)

In A Flash

Where did it start if it never really began

A whirlwind, I never thought this could've been the end

Flashing lights cover dim bulbs
Bulbs fragile like entering a new world
Comfort cracking breaks our familiar peace
Bulbs dropping breaking us into exposed pieces
Enduring the awkward always trumps defeat
Candy stores sometimes, they're just too damn sweet

Eggshells

I can feel myself growing out of my shell.  I'm cracking.  Like a bird breaking out of his shell to start his life, I am going through a rebirth.  One that has probably been 10 years in the making.  A skin I am shedding, but the experiences always there.

It's like going through your old clothes.  Do you have shirts or jeans you've had for 10 years?  10 years?????  I know I can barely believe it, but I was guilty of that.  You finally get tired of the "same old shit."  My shell is cracking from interior growth, and now my exterior wants a revamp too.  I demand to celebrate myself more fiercely in every way.

Each day I walk on my eggshells in frustration and excitement.  "They say it's about the journey."  UGH.  And the end is death and/or being so old, or retiring.  I don't want it to be done.  Maybe that's what I'm afraid of.  That time is passing too fast.  I'm still unsure about so many things, direction, investment, wow how much more time do I have?  How has this much time passed?

I must act.  I must change gears.  A higher gear.


I'm evolving into a real woman.  New York has evoked change upon me.  If New York teaches you anything, it forces you to know yourself.  You really have no other choice.  The energy and people around you, it's about survival really.  At 34 I think I finally feel like an adult.  Kinda.  ;)  I'm rediscovering who I want to be,  and learning how to blast this new inner light to its maximum.  Getting to know yourself like you're getting to know a new friend.  Perspective is changing, reevaluating your purpose.  It's scary and exciting at the same time, and with a rebirth I can only become...better.

Hi eggshells, I see you.  :)

Street Art in Williamsburg

The street art in Williamsburg (Brooklyn) is pretty awesome! In one day you can pass by so many pieces of art, expression. It makes you smile and inspires you, and sometimes makes you laugh.  

Interstellar - WOW

Tonight I went to see the movie Interstellar with my Dad.  Of course now I remember the trailer, but before the movie, I had no idea what I was about to get into....  My heart...My soul...My thoughts...My fears...My dreams...My emotions...all busted wide open.

This. Movie. Was............  Indescribable.  It hit me on SO many levels that I left the theater in tears. 

For those who have not seen the movie, I'll try not to spoil anything for you.  But do yourself a favor by NOT googling the trailer before watching it.  Just watch it.  Just press play. 

First off, mad props to the writers and producers.  This movie blew me away, almost literally.  Yes, this is a movie about "space."  But it's not your typical space/universe movie.  I don't want to give too much away, but there is somewhat of a love story, and that could mean partner love, family love, life love, human love, etc.  It's also based in the future which makes it very interesting.  A future that we could potentially face?  It bridges the relationships between friends, family, trust, purpose, and time.  It really made me think, about all those things.  So combine that with the universe, other galaxies, OMG.  Mind blown.

One of my all time favorite quotes is, "You can tell a man is clever by his answers, you can tell a man is wise by his questions."  For me, that sums up my life fairly accurately.  I've always asked questions.  I've always wanted to ask questions.  I like to understand how and why things work, that's just how I learn by understanding.  The problem is however, still to this day I have more questions than answers.  The more answers I find, the more questions I start to think of.  Sometimes it drives me crazy.  Sometimes it makes me feel like a misfit.  Do others ever wonder about some of the random things that I do?  How could no one care to discuss the universe, or other dimensions, planes, cloud formations, or why things are certain colors?  Deep down I want to know and understand these type of things.  My soul is like sponge, and I truly feel like my purpose is through this quest.  The quest I still fight at times, but sometimes marvel in wonder. 

So as a human that is not an astronaut, I already have many questions about life, purpose, space, time, etc.  But imagine an astronaut, someone who is not only educated but experienced in floating around in our atmosphere not only looking down on earth, but looking out into the endless bounds of our universe.  WHAT IN THE FUCK DO THEY THINK ABOUT!  I mean seriously!  Jesus Christ what do they believe about God, death, life, time?  Based on the research I've seen this movie was fairly accurate from a scietific standpoint.  The theory of relativity for crying out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean.......!!!!!!!!!??

----------
"Gravitational time dilation is a real phenomenon that has been observed on Earth. It occurs because time is relative, meaning time runs at different rates for different reference frames. When you're in a strong gravitational environment time runs slower for you relative to people in a weak gravitational environment.

If you are near a black hole, like the one in the film, your gravitational reference frame, and therefore your perception of time, is different than someone standing on Earth. This is because the gravitational pull from the black hole is stronger the closer you are to it.

For you, a minute near a black hole will still last 60 seconds, but if you could look at a clock on Earth, a minute will appear to last less than 60 seconds. This means you will age more slowly than the people on Earth. And the stronger the gravitational field you're in, the more extreme the time dilation.
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/crazy-physics-to-understand-interstellar-2014-11#ixzz3KQkGdFTc
----------

This movie not only moved me, but inspired me.  It allowed mountains to move within me that I had been detouring for a while now.  Please go watch it.  I hope it has as great of an impact on you as it did me.

Hip Hop Lyrics Give Me A Boost

There's just something about certain hip hop artists and lyrics that just exude power, passion, strength and confidence.  Those traits are pretty amazing, and when you not only recognize but FEEL all of those at the same time, it's a pretty moving experience, literally.

I know not everyone likes hip hop or cares for it, but that's not my problem!  I love it!  There are times when I need that boost, I just turn my playlist on shuffle and start dancing around my house!  That's what happened this morning and I thought it would be nice of me to share some of the songs that had me moving...

I never brag

I'm real I keep it

Cuz it's the best secret

I rock a vest

Prestigious

Cuban link flood Jesus

In a Lex watching Kathy Lee and Regis

My actions are one with the seasons 

-Nas, Take It In Blood

I don't stunt, I regulate

-Nas, Take It In Blood 

If a hater snatch ya chain I bet it still wont' free you

Ha

Cuz I be right back grindin till I cop another

I sit and think bout all the shit I coulda got my mother

My partna said that's just the game my nigga

Swear I heard my jeweler say here go ya chain my nigga

-J. Cole, Chaining Day

You know the sayin

Fake it till you make it

Me I did the opposite

Made it then I faked it

And acting like I gave a fuck

Money I was saving up

To buy a crib that's gated to that hundred racks

I gave it up

For what

-J. Cole, Chaining Day

Happiness and Success

I recently had a "vision and goals" session at work and I was extremely moved by this exercise. However I will admit, I've never been the type to set goals before. I've always been excited to see what life throws at me, and luckily thus far I feel I've been "successful" at life's pitches. What I've also learned over the years however is that "success" means a lot of different things to different people....

Growing up in the South of the good ole USA, life's progression has a certain path of achievements that must be had in order to be "normal" or "successful." You must go to college, graduate, land a great job, continue that into a great career, get married by mid to late 20's, have kids, get a house with a white picked fence and get a golden retriever, or something of that sort. I was on a roll with most of that, graduating college with honors, landing a great job and having a successful career in banking. However the latter part of the equation has yet to really fall in place for me. The whole marriage and kids thing. At times this has created havoc within me, with all of this ingrained in my DNA I felt as if I was doing something wrong, or not doing something right. As I thought I was somewhat not on the right path, I threw everything I was doing away to RESET, if you will. I resigned from my kush job at the bank, traveled the world and started opening my life and mind to different things, different patterns, and different paces, to see if I could spark change to get back on the "path" to finalize the rest of life's ray I've yet to fulfill.

Today - still no change. I almost feel more confused than ever before. However through this transient time in my life I'm feeling more, seeing more, and getting more in-tune with myself. I've learned a lot. I've learned you can't attach "happiness" or "success" to anything. Not to any time, event, achievement, thing, or person. Yes certain things can bring you happiness, but you shouldn't allow certain things NOT happening to break you of being happy. Happiness and success has to be a state of mind, a state of being. Once you feel at home and happy with yourself regardless of your circumstances, you cannot be shaken! Now I know some circumstances will require change. I'm not saying everyone should quit their job and go live under a bridge so they can finally scream I'M HAPPY! I'm saying we all need to learn to live with and love what we have, our circumstances, and know where you are in life is exactly where you should be. You should also be strong and tenacious to make the desired changes you want in your life, whatever they are! I know that I should no longer attach "happiness" and "success" with being married and having children. That is absurd! That is not the only way to be happy in this life! What was I thinking! I know some of you may think I'm crazy but I also know there are some of you who feel the same as I do, thus the reason I am writing this open and honest piece.

This "vision and goals" exercise had such a positive impact on me I wanted to share it with you. Try this, I promise it will reinvigorate you about life!! Trust yourself and trust the possibilities!

1. Write down everything you DO NOT WANT in life on a piece of paper. It could be feelings, things, people, desires, thoughts...

2. Once you are done, tear the above sheet of paper in pieces and throw it in the trash!!!! 

3. Now on another sheet of paper write down everything you DO WANT in your life. Again this could be feelings, thoughts, accomplishments, etc.....

The idea of this is, most of the time we our led by our fears rather than our dreams. Fear kills more ideas than attempts ever will. Allow yourself to be led by the possibilities of life. YOU are allowed to create anything you want in this life! Do not let anyone tell you otherwise! F the system and F the norm! 

Here are a few other questions that will help you identify what you're really passionate about, what really makes you happy and what you really value in this life. These questions are from Brian Tracy's Psychology of Achievement. These will help you get you in the mindset of the possibility of your life!

1. What would you do if you won a million dollars!?

2. What would you do if you only had six months left to live!?

3. In 30 seconds or less write down the three most important goals in your life right now.

4. What have you always wanted to do but have been afraid to attempt!?

5. In looking back at all the things you've done, what gives you your greatest feeling of importance!?

6. What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail!?

7. What are the eight things you value most in life!?


Once you've answered the above questions read over them carefully. Is what you are doing now in your life aligning you with your above answers? The above questions really help you realize what YOU really WANT, what YOU really LOVE, and what YOU really want out of this life. If the path you are currently on is not aligning you with anything you have mentioned above, there's a good chance you are not following your dreams!

Do not let society tell you what you should be doing with your life. Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. But mindfulness training, perseverance, and courage will lead you to your path of ultimate bliss. It will be tough, but I promise you it will be worth it!

Barefoot Escape

My cousin started a very cool jewelry line called Barefoot Escape! Her pieces are so cool, so boho chic that I had to share with my readers! I love her jewelry and she will have a big order coming from me very soon! Check out some of her jewelry and how to order below!!! :)

Barefoot Escape is a handmade jewelry line inspired by boho fashion and a personal connection to the sea. Barefoot Escape is hoping to grow into a more widely known jewelry line for unique and original designs. Customs are available for those who truly appreciate individual tastes.

Any Free-Spirited person who wishes to take in a piece of Barefoot Escape for themselves can order directly by Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/barefootjewelry and pay through paypal. There are hopes of an Etsy account in the near future.

A Blissful Moment That Will Last Forever

Last night in Bali was our first "full on" club experience since arriving here a week ago. The first week here has been relaxing. We've laid out, a lot, at our private pool and at the beach. We've managed to go shopping, way too much in way too many places, yet we've actually enjoyed buying our own groceries and cooking at home some, too.

Last night however, was ON. We had a nice dinner out accompanied by cocktails. Well for me it was double Jack and Coke's. :) Soon enough we were off to the club, Skygarden. We'd heard it was a multi level club that offered different music on every level. As much as it excited us, we were also apprehensive thinking of being knocked around by hundreds of drunken 21 year-olds. Nonetheless, we persevered. I think doubling up on the Jack washed away all of my worries. ;) So we arrived to the floor of our choice, the open rooftop blasting out the latest hits.

DANCING IT IS! It was ON. If you know me, I don't need anyone to dance with. I enjoy the beat of my own drum, making my own bodily art and expression as I feel the music and vibes soak through my soul.

This night though I happened to find a cool dance partner. It's so nice to find another dancer with "good happy fun energy." Not a sleazy guy who is trying to push the moves on you, or a guy who is too drunk that steps all over you. This guy had moves, and they were awesome.

Now let me get to the BEST part. Suddenly, it started POURING raining. It was the strangest thing. It had not rained one time this whole week in Bali. But around midnight it started pouring. Of course your natural reaction is to duck for cover. However this time, I did not care. I kept dancing. We kept dancing. Rain and all. My hair was soaked. I could feel it stick to my back as I nonchalantly whipped it around with my oh so innocent dance moves. ;)

That moment of dancing in the rain (and continuing to dance being completely drenched) I will NEVER forget. Inhibitions - gone. Soul - glowing. Heart - happy. Feet - moving. Body - wet. It was the best thing ever. I was being blessed from the heavens and from the roots of my feet and soul at the same time.

What an amazing night!!!!  

I Will Miss Them!!

In three days I will be flying out to Southeast Asia for four months. This was my last weekend in town so I decided to spend some quality time with friends and family.  

My friends are so awesome and I will miss them dearly. Special thanks and shout out to my BFF of 15 years for throwing me an awesome party and cookout! I had a blast!!!!

Getting out on and in the water was also a must. Water makes me happy.

There are so many things that I am going to miss. My goddaughter saying more amazing words and sentences. My nephew will soon start talking more as well. There are also so many friends that live out of town that I didn't get a chance to see.  I really hope my moms dog doesn't pass while I am gone. But rather than focusing on the negative I like to focus on the positive....

It's pretty amazing what you can accomplish on your own, if you can take just one step outside the box, or one leap of faith, you'd be surprised what you find yourself getting into. :) This journey is just another chapter in my amazing book. I'm so thankful for all of my friends and loved ones who have been able to touch others' hearts. It is through kindness, friendship and giving that truly radiates positive waves, slowly changing this planet into a happier place. 

Backpacking in three days OMG!!!!!!  :)

Backpacking 1 Month From TODAY!!!!!!

WOW - 1 month from today I will be flying out for my backpacking adventures in Southeast Asia!!!!  There's still a lot to do to prepare for this trip, but I am almost ready!!! 

Although I'm ready for this next chapter, my mind is in 1,000 places.  I'm thinking of everything that I'm looking forward to, but also realizing all the people and things that I will miss.  This kind of a change is a big deal.  I will miss my nephew growing up, saying his first big words.  I'll miss the potential pregnancies of my best friends.  I'll miss the dinners and hang time with my friends and family.  However even with all that, what I will be gaining in my mind and heart with this trip is exponential.  I surely hope everyone and everything is still intact when I return, but that is a risk I have to and am willing to take. 


Things I will miss:

• Family & Friends of course!
• My kitty JJ
• My Jordans and Vans
• LKN
• Starbucks
• My CHI flat iron

Things I will NOT miss:

• Gossip on who's dating who and who they dated before
• Snapchat, Facebook
• Discussing who's done this, made that, bought this
• Who's getting married next, engaged next
• What celebrity is getting married or having a baby next
• Fakeness in the workplace, friend base or on TV
• Seeing Michael Kors everything

What I'm looking forward to:

• Wearing flip flops and sandals everyday!
• With that comes casual clothes YEAH!
• CONNECTING with people
• Teaching English to little kids, or adults
• Eating LOTS and LOTS of Asian food
• Seeing how others view the world, listening to their fears, their dreams, theirs desires
• GIVING BACK to the planet
• Helping families and communities grow
• Learning how to garden and creating a self sustaining environment

A lot of people live their lives based on fear.  They don't want to go "too far" out of fear of what they will miss.  Not even realizing what they are missing by not DOING could be far greater....  I want to show you what is possible, what you can see.  If you cannot see it with your own eyes, at least you can see it through my view.   

I hope you stay tuned for my adventures in Asia.  I'll be volunteering with elephants in Thailand - my new found favorite animal!!  I'll also be teaching English to orphans in Vietnam, taking a break chilling in Bali, and working with families in Nepal.  I plan on getting my yoga certification at some point on this journey as well.  

It's amazing the strength and power you feel when you follow your passions and your heart.  You are in absolute control and fearless.  I wish I would have done this sooner.  :)


One.  More.  Month.



Namaste.  
 

Are You Living The Life You WANT?

This June will mark 10 years that I've worked in Corporate America. I lucked out and landed a great job two weeks after graduating college, and I've been working ever since. Now, 10 years later, I've decided to look at my life and ask myself if this is really what I was meant to do?! 

When you're young you're taught to study, work hard, get good grades so you can get a good job. Continue working hard, fall in love, get married, have kids and get a house with a white picked fence and golden retriever. That's the American way, right? The American Dream so they call it. But how many people actually enjoy that package deal? How many people are only in this whirlwind because that's what they're supposed to do?! Think about it. Most of us have a job that we tolerate so we can enjoy life outside of work, right? That doesn't sound too bad. Some of us may actually love our jobs - and I envy those people! But what about the large percentage of folks that are lost in the day to day pattern of their life - living a life they think they should be living versus one they WANT to live?

Last year I experienced the second layoff of my career but was lucky enough to get a nice severance package. Thankfully I had money coming in to pay for my bills - not having that worry was amazing! But I had a weird realization. I felt like I was finally LIVING. I could hear birds chirping. I could see the changes taking place in the city around me. I could SEE and FEEL more, all the little things. I was finally able to slow down the repetition and actually see and feel what was going on around me. You would think having a great paying job would give you the necessary tools and means to be "happy." But no - not the case with me. My whole career I've been somewhat unfulfilled, and here I had been laid off - my future uncertain - and I finally felt like I was REALLY LIVING. 

Fast forward a year, I've landed almost the exact same job at another company. OK - I'm happy to be employed! Wahooo! But for some reason each day was getting harder for me to accept. I was becoming more and more frustrated with the typical jobs duties I would blast through in no time. On top of that I was going through a "breakup" with someone I felt I knew from a past life - the deepest connection I had ever experienced with anyone ever before. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? The life I was living didn't make sense anymore. I never felt so lost, broken, but yet so passionate and eager to make my life purposeful. But HOW could I do this? This was my moment of awakening. I was broken down to the bone, and that was when I felt my greatest strength and purpose. I couldn't hide it anymore. I couldn't fake it anymore either. I was forced to be real with myself. To look at myself inside and out and truly force myself to make a choice - to choose to live right by my heart. 

A lot of the struggles and pain we go through actually help direct us to our purpose, to what's REAL in our hearts, to what makes us happy. Blessings in disguise some like to call it. As heartbroken and confused as I was, I am SO thankful for going through that. Those combination of events erupted a passion and love inside of me that I could not deny. As I started making decisions to redirect my future I felt as if I was chipping away at the clay mold of excess I had gradually built up over time. It's such an emotional experience to completely change the way you've always done things. But with that comes equal bliss and freedom. I've never been so happy to get ride of all my junk! I feel so much more free and aware of how I had been piling on "things" this whole time that really weren't meaningful to me. But I had to go through those hardships to really see and understand ME - to learn what's really important to me.

It's never too late to live happily ever after. It's never too late to start over. It's never to late to do what you love. Live passionately. Live fearlessly. Be courageous. You just have to do it! Otherwise - how much time will you allow to pass before you are finally ready to take charge of your life - the life YOU want? If you wait for the perfect time it will never arrive. 

Fear paralyses so many things, so many opportunities. 

Think about the life you want to live, and go out and live it! 

That is what I am finally doing, now.  :)

 

Connections & Leave Behind?

Time evolves.  Connections are made.  What will you leave behind?

Today I saw the most amazing movie, The Words.  A movie about an ambitious writer that could never catch a break, until he made a decision that would change his life forever.  The emotions that started to pour out of me shook me to the core.  I immediately reflected on all the amazing moments and connections I've made in my life.  The story line was so real, so relatable.  It created one of those moments where I FELT my outlook on life, and REALITY, change.  A couple hours later I had to watch it again.  

Have you ever met someone and you felt like you've known them forever?  Have you had that friendship or romance that blossomed out of nowhere, took you to places you've never been, then quickly dissipated into thin air?  Where do these people go?  Where do these situations go?  Why were they so short lived?  Why did it end?  How and why did I meet them in the first place? 

These moments ARE amazing.  Some are lucky to have them last longer than others. These "moments" are forever sacred and can never be taken away.  No matter how long or short, each second of ecstasy, of pure bliss, is a blessing.  We must cherish those feelings forever.  Understand that our lives are better for having experienced something so beautiful, even if only for a second. 

I grew up hearing stories that ended with "happily ever after."  I've longed and planned on being married, having that story book life that everyone knows about.  Well, it's not the 1920's anymore.  Think about how people "connect" these days.  Texting.  Emailing.  Snapchatting.  Dancing.  Talking.  Skyping.  Facebooking.  There are more ways to "connect" with others than ever before.  Since the opportunity to connect is so plentiful, do we cherish and appreciate our connections the same way as we did years ago?  Think about it, in the 1920's there was no internet, no texting.  True connections, authentic and long lasting, forever bonded those in that era.  Divorce didn't happen.  Families stayed together.  Why?  Fast forward to today, people rarely talk on the phone anymore.  The US Postal Service could potentially go out of business because people don't write letters or use standard mail as much.  Everything is digital and expedited.  You can book a flight and schedule a dinner reservation by the click of a button.  The divorce rate is also above 50%.  Is there a weird correlation here?  Do exponential opportunities to connect reduce the authenticity and appreciation we have for those associated with these connections?

With all that, we all do our best.  Life is scary, life is beautiful, and life is worth it. 

I never considered myself much of a writer, but this movie inspired me to write this.  What lasts through generations?  What can be passed on forever?  Stories.  Books.  Teachings.  Writing.  My outlook on life is constantly evolving, and I often cant make sense of all the thoughts swirling around in my head.  This blog has been a fun outlet to share MY view of the world and my thoughts.  I do know something that is constant, and what is universal, and that is LOVE.  We all feel it.  We all need it.  Feelings and connections with other people - that is what's real and that's what makes the world go round.  Every interaction, no matter how small or short lived, changes everything.  

Embrace every moment.  Be kind.  Write about it.  How will you change the world for the better?  What will you leave behind?  

I hope to inspire you, challenge you, and put at least one smile on your face.  Never underestimate the power of a smile.    

Curious?

How curious are you about life?