American Sniper

Could you imagine being responsible for killing over 160 people and have the ability to walk around freely in society?  I can't even imagine what that does to your psyche.  Do you feel like a warrior, a killer?  Justified because you protected your fellow soldiers?  Or does it make you sad, or proud?  This movie touched me in a way that I've never been touched before, patriotically.  Veterans, I always respected, but honestly there was always a gap with what I thought they experienced, versus what I'm sure they really experienced.  This movie helped close that gap for me.  

I left the movie feeling so empathetic that I had to text one of my Veteran friends and thank him again for his service.  I now feel and believe there is a HUGE gap between what civilians think our soldiers go through, versus what they really experience day in and day out on the battlefield and when they come home.  It made me feel horrible.  How could so many of us walk through our daily lives, freely, so unaware, while these soldiers are fighting for us and experiencing so much confusion and pain.  Our reality of cars, work, and social status seem to really stress us out doesn't it?  We have NO CLUE what it feels like to carry the weight of what these soldiers carry on their shoulders and in their minds every day.  Not only do they have THAT to carry, but also the adjustment back to our materialistic fake society that surrounds and encompasses us all.  

I highly recommend seeing this movie.  I think it did a great job detailing what our soldiers go through, not only on the battlefield, but what they see and feel once they come home.  I've never felt so in touch with what they go through until now, and even with this film I'm sure we're all still far off from really understanding.  

It inspired me.  It made me want to help, to reach out, to do something.  

Now I know there are some of you that think, "well they chose to go over there and fight."  And trust me, I get that, and in no way would I ever make that choice, not right now anyway.  Which makes me feel even more thankful and empathetic for our soldiers.  I don't think that war is the answer, but I also think that no one has the answers to this convoluted world of politics, economics, and terror that we're all going through these days.  

I know there are soldiers too that are fine when they come home.  And those guys are extremely strong.  Shoot I need some advice from them on how to cope with some things in my life and I'm far off from holding the weight of what they carry in their minds.  

Anyway, I wanted to share my experience because it truly touched me and I will forever hold Veterans in an even more higher regard now.  

25 Years After Tiananmen Square

In 1989 I was 7 years old, most likely only worrying about eating slices of cheese, chasing my brothers or watching cartoons on TV. If I try to think back of the first major news story I can recollect, I must say it was in 4th grade when my mother told me about Jeffrey Dahmer. I remember standing in her bedroom looking at her and feeling complete shock and disgust. You know that feeling, when something hits you to your core, time stops, and you'll always remember that moment as if you'll forever be in third person watching it unfold from afar. It's amazing as a child, the things you remember, and things you do not remember.

Fast forward to today, I'm infatuated with international events. Over the past few years I've learned more about the history of this planet than I ever did in all my Social Studies classes, combined. I've actually stood in historic places like in Berlin on top of Hitler's bunker, in the streets of Barcelona where Pablo Picasso went to art school, and even in the hidden room/house Anne Frank lived in Amsterdam. Traveling abroad and being THERE really imprinted the magnitude of these historic events on me. I was never a history buff growing up, but the more I learn the more I want to know. I could not be more curious and excited to learn more about history, other cultures, and the relationships between it all.

This week marks the 25th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square riots, a student led protest, and I must admit it's not until now that I've learned the details about this situation. WOW. My heart is aching.

Here's a little history, thanks to this video put together by CNN.

http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/international/2014/06/03/orig-tiananmen-square-tank-man-anniversary-jag.cnn.html

• April 15, 1989 former communist party general secretary Hu Yaobang dies of a heart attack. Hu had sought a more open political system and became a symbol of democratic reform. 
• April 18, 1989 thousands of students marched to Tiananmen Square demanding the government follow Hu's example. 
• May 15, 1989 a rally at Tiananmen Square draws more than one million people! 
• That same day Premier Li Peng imposes martial law in Beijing. 
• June 3, 1989 army troops begin their invasion to take control. 
• June 4, 1989 troops take over the square. 
• June 5, 1989 this happens - have you seen this photo before? 

"Tank Man" was identified by London's Sunday Express as 19 year old Wang Weilin - although his identify was never confirmed. Most believe Wang was arrested and executed soon after. 

What tragedy. The people of China wanted reform, wanted change, wanted democracy. The protesters were calling for government accountability, freedom of the press, freedom of speech, and the restoration of workers' control over industry. How beautiful is it to see people stand up for change, to demand something better, better rights? An uprising of this magnitude cannot be ignored or ever forgotten.

I'm baffled that I'm just now finding out what really happened here. Isn't it interesting how at random points in your life you're suddenly exposed to certain things, find yourself suddenly infatuated with certain cultures, regions, etc.?

The Chinese government condemned the protests as a "counter-revolutionary riot", and has prohibited all forms of discussion or remembrance of the events since. Due to the lack of information from China, many aspects of the events remain unknown or unconfirmed. The number of deaths and the extent of bloodshed in the Square itself have been in dispute since the events. No official death toll has ever been released. As the Chinese authorities actively suppress discussion of the events as well as research of the subject, it is difficult to verify exact figures. As a result, large discrepancies exist among various casualty estimates.

The more I travel the more passionate I get. My curiosity never ceases and I feel I'm obligated to bring this type of awareness to others that I know aren't as widely cultured. As an American looking in, and have never traveled to China, all the information I've gathered has been from the internet or friends and family that have been there. I'm not one to say China should do this or that. But seeing footage of this event, seeing the faces of the people and the passion and stance they brought forward has brought so much compassion over me, it's really indescribable.


All we can do is learn and love, more.

Writing Your Last Will and Testament

GASP!  I know!  How morbid!

Last night I was talking to my mother, updating her on my preparations for backpacking Asia.  She casually mentioned "Elizabeth, I think you should think about writing your will."  MOM!!!!!  WOW!  I couldn't believe my ears.  My stomach sank and my eyes widened.  Really I need to do this?  Time pretty much stopped for me in that moment as I looked around my room staring at all my junk, I mean my things..... You know what, she was right.  I'm 31 and have not written a will yet.  At what age do you write your last will and testament???  Regardless of all the questions I had, I knew it was something I needed to do, at some point anyway.  So today I wrote it.  Two pages worth.

Putting these preparations on paper is a very weird experience.  Your mind starts to wonder....  WHY did my Mom mention this?  Did she get a message from above that I will pass on this journey?  Was it just her being a Mom making sure I have all bases covered?  WOW this is CRAZY!!!!  And SAD!!

It really makes you stop and think about LIFE, your life and those lives around you.  In a way it hit a nerve within me to live a more positive, meaningful and fulfilling life.  Life is not about WHAT you have or how much you have of this or that.  It's about the connection you make make with others, and how you make this world a better place.

I hate money.  People fight over it all the time, especially families in times of death, marital negotiations, estates changing generations, etc.  It's terrible.  I'd rather let someone take all the money, take everything and leave me drama and stress free!!!!! 

Anyway - I know this post is somewhat morbid.  However in everything I do these days I try to always find that positive light.  There's always a light out there shining, it's just up to you to see it.  : )

 

Life is short

Wow - I just read an article in the newspaper that a local executive died unexpectedly.  When I opened the article and saw the picture I was stunned.  I know this woman, she lives in my building.  Actually, I just saw her a couple days ago in our lobby.  She supposedly died while on a business trip and it appears to be of natural causes.

To see someone so close to the time they pass, especially when you KNOW them - is a very eerie feeling.  Was death really staring me in the face days ago and I didn't know it?  Thousands of thoughts it creates in your mind.... 

Why does it take times of strife, grief and sadness to incorporate change in our lives?  Why do you not know what you have until its gone?  It boggles my mind that so much of life can pass you by before you actually start LIVING. 

Take those chances.  Say I LOVE YOU.  Feed your soul what it's asking for.  Life is too short.  Don't delay.  Start now.  <3